Trending Love Lingo 2K18

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Posted on: 03/01/18

 

A decade earlier, updating your relationship status as “it’s complicated” on Facebook was a thing. It’s complicated could mean a million number of things – starting from secretly developing feelings for your best friend to not realizing whether a one night stand will lead to a relationship – it’s complicated was an umbrella term for everything between single and taken – it was the grey lord of relationship statuses – & now there’s fifty shades of grey – well literally. You have a name for every little quirk, every moody behaviour and every confusing interaction.

We’re sure you do these things, or maybe are in these “kind” of relationships already, you just don’t know what they’re called yet. Let’s bring you up to speed.

Breadcrumbing. These are those all of a sudden late night flirtatious texts which never lead anywhere. Yes, the hunter is fielding up the depth of the waters. Late night isn’t the point here though. Your hoping is.

Benching. You bench someone when you aren’t sure what to do with them. That’s most of the cases, isn’t it?  😀 You went on a date last week. Kuch kuch nehi hua lekin ho sakta hai. What do you do? Well, you keep them as options. Well, tread carefully. Benching and taking things slow aren’t the same thing. God save those who thought they are.

Ghosting. Well, long story short. When you are dumped but not informed. When the date went great and they never got back to your texts. Congrats, you have been ghosted!

Cat fishing. The dark side of online dating. They pretend to be someone else, assuming a fictitious identity and pursue their crushes. You have no idea who is sitting behind the computer. We cracked innocent catfishing pranks on friends. Well, now it’s more organized. Beware.

Tuning. You don’t need a term for this. Perhaps this is rare today! When you just click with that special someone and expected dates start increasing. You love their company. Both of you are tuning to the common groove.

Textationship. Well, this is interesting. If a relationship starts, survives and succumbs solely through texts, it is a textationship. Well, you two just wrote to each other. And that too not love letters.

Zombeying. Well, the sum total of ghosting and then wanting back in your life with a sudden text message. Texting isn’t the only option for zombeying. A random phone call or an old school letter isn’t that strange in cases of zombeying. Remember, they might be trying to rekindle old flames just for hooking up thinking you would be game. Tread carefully!

Slow fading. This is ghosting magar pyaar se! They are slow fading when they go down the levels of intimacy gradually and eventually fading away from your life. It really hurts less than ghosting!

Haunting. When a person who ghosted you suddenly reappears. And they aren’t direct about it. They aren’t directly interacting with you, a sudden Instagram tag or a Facebook tag with 29 others. You just don’t know whether they are interested or just watching you tremble.

FBO. This is an important part of relationships today. When someone finally knows what they are doing and they declare it officially over Facebook, your relationship is FBO. Facebook Official.

Draking. Someone who keeps falling in love but is always sad! Wallowing, whining, melancholic poems and emotional constipation have a single word now, draking. You drake and wonder why people never check your posts.

Cushioning. This is what you project to be when you know right now there is no chance for you to date them. You are the patient wolf. You don’t flirt with them, but chat with them regularly, tag them in nice posts, make plans with them and are there for them. Waiting for them to break up and fall back on you. All the best.

Snackpack. A bag one carries to a one night stand. The bag contains birth control pills, condoms, toothbrush, phone charger, also spare underwear (maybe).

This train wreck of a glossary should amuse us all – it’s like our entire generation is approaching love in the most complex of ways, and then trying to name these ways. As Karan says, the more we play games, the more we need such terms. ‘Such terms are validating the mind games further.’

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