Let’s Solve the Arranged vs. Love Marriage Debate, Once and for All

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Posted on: 06/02/18

What they don’t tell you about marriages!

Someone once said (or didn’t but it feels like the right thing to say) “You don’t fall in love with people, you fall in love with personalities”

The debate between arranged marriages and love marriages has been almost as old as your parent’s proverbial “zamana” that comes up as a template of comparison through space and time on multiple occasions when they choose to give you life lessons.

Marriage, as they say is the ultimate expression of love. The first person to invent marriage might have gone like, “I love you so much, I am going to get the government involved” And despite the potential benefit of satiating your lustful desires, marriage comes with it’s own set of downsides. Tying the knot it easy, but keeping it tied can get a little annoying over time.

What’s on the menu?

While you might want to believe that the outcomes of a love marriage and an arranged marriage a different, they pretty much boil down to the same dynamics. You can’t want Friends on the laptop and House of Cards on the TV at the same time. It doesn’t work that way. This dilemma doesn’t change, whether your aunt forced you into this marriage or you made your way into their life from the others inbox.

You’re entitled to your choice, however, the outcome of compatibility can hardly be gauged unless you live-in. Which is a great idea, provided you don’t live with a family who would disown you for it.

We aren’t here to take sides. We believe it takes all kinds of people to make this world but every decision we make, every choice we invest in has its own pitfalls and consequences, and a few silver linings!

For love marriages, you already know the person and you are happy and excited to meet the undeniable eventuality of death with them by your side. However, with arranged marriages, you have a clean slate and blind alleys. And since you’re only exploring the horrible and irrational human you share a bed with, there is a certain amount of thrill attached to an arranged marriage. The latter maybe a double edged sword or a sweet smelling road, depending on who you get to share your life with.

The point being that either ways, there is a risk and there is little that you can tell beforehand. 3 out of 4 marriage in the US end up in a divorce and the rate in India is only rising every day. Which really puts a question to why people would marry in the first place. If someone told you 3 out of 4 parachutes won’t open, would you still be so excited for skydiving?

The Bottom Line

All said and done, if you know you’re jumping into a pool of hungry hyenas, it’s better to do so out of your own choice. Life’s uncertainties will hit us, no matter what precautions we take, and being absolutely sure about our choice only helps avoiding regret.

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