Almost every relationship starts as a secret. A secret at almost every level. You keep telling yourself for a good amount of time that it’s just a casual fling, and it’ll end soon. You then keep telling each other that it might not be the best idea and while you’re thoroughly enjoying it, you want to take it slow. And then for the longest time, you don’t tell any of your near a dear ones.
There could be a multitude of reasons why you would do that, however there are some things about a secret relationship that anyone who has been in one will relate to.
- It hurts
Sherlock really pissed Watson off when he returned from the dead in season 3. That’s when he asked him, ‘Didn’t you miss this? The two of us against the rest of the world?’ A punch in the face and a broken nose was what he got as a terse response.
- The Detachment is Blissful
No one knows that you two are out there, deeply in love, making memories which only the trees shall know of. And maybe the stars. And a few creepy bystanders but that’s pretty much it. The point being that leaving behind all your worried and entering a new universe every time you meet is a great refresher.
- The Fights are Pretty Lonely
You will get a slap on the back of your head when you least expect it. Going about in a secret relationship is tricky when the blades strike and spark, you got no one to talk to and with that comes insecurity, paranoia and so much more!
- Other Relationships Take a Hit
In the process of keeping a secret, you start being absent from a lot of places you used to earlier frequent. Friends you used to keep, people you used to share a bond with, it all start to take a hit and before you’re too sure about this new relationship you have formed, you have already upset a few that you were a part of.
- The Coming Out Bit is the Scariest
At some point, putting the thrill aside, we need to come out with our relationship. Beware of that. Friends might get hurt because of all the lies and half-truths you had to utter to keep your secret. Secret relationships are the most vulnerable at this stage, the stage when it’s no longer a secret.
If both of you aren’t on the same page about coming out, it is best to introspect and have a dialogue. Was it just the thrill that gelled you two up or is it the passion that’s still brewing?
- You Keep Getting Those Thoughts
A secret relationship means you often just keep to yourself. If this means you keeping swinging, then do as Karan says ‘If you are swinging, it’s fine. You’re allowed to swing. It’s your life!’ Disclaimer: Always keep the cost in mind. Always!
- But After All It’s love
In the words of Piyush Mishra, “Wo kaam bhala kya kaam hua, jiska bojha sar par ho. Wo ishq bhala kya Ishq hua, jiska charcha ghar pe ho” Every relationship, in some form, starts as a secret, and because we all come with flaws, these secrets help us with a bit of a thrill. A thrill that helps us accept those flaws faster. However, that thrill will soon fade and by the time it does, if you haven’t really fallen in love, you’re up for life kicking you in the shins.